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Even so, the advice has stuck in my head all these years, and I still recite it to single friends who seem to have trouble making romantic relationships stick.

He wrote: 'Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.' The way I interpret this that when it comes to love, you can't give or receive love unless you love and respect yourself.-- but it's like compound interest: the more you have the more you get. As Emily Dickinson wrote, "The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience." The most important piece of love advice I ever got was this: "Treat yourself like a prize." The strange part is: I can no longer remember who first passed on the wisdom.(In my mind, it's some sexy woman-of-a-certain age with five ex-husbands, smoking a Virginia Slim 100.) But the real identity is lost to me.You will find the perfect person who loves you as much as you love him, and you'll look back on this and laugh." While I couldn't understand then that you need to love someone who loves you back, I get it now. My grandparents died before I was born and my parents are deceased and never liked anyone I dated, really. Don't marry anyone who won't help with the cat litter box when you are away, busy or when you are sick.Twenty years, three children and a dog later, I'm still married to the man who loved me back. The couple who served as my polestars for love shared litter box tasks (and everything else).

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