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If you want to make sure your first encounter is a success, here are a few first date questions you should avoid asking if…

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In my previous post and in my book, Sensation: The New Science of Physical Intelligence, I showed how the color red influences the way men perceive women.

Men who saw a photo of a woman against a red background perceived her as more attractive and sexier. As a matchmaker for e H , I have pretty much heard it all when it comes to first dates — and the things some people actually say to one another!

Second, they sound like an exact description of the writer’s ex.

Don’t even think about posting a dating advert without a photo. You meet, and the blood drains from their face as they realise that your photo was taken 10 years, five stone and 500 wrinkles ago. You don’t have to write someone an epic love letter (please don’t) – just pick out a couple of appealing points in their ad and write a quick intro email. Some rookies assume that they must answer every email, even if it’s “thanks, but no thanks”. “Thanks but no thanks” can feel more hurtful than no reply.

Not because they can’t get enough of you, but because a single photo is not a reliable indicator of what you look like. Use photos and emails for spotting potential, but don’t start fancying the pants off a two-dimensional image. More men than women advertise on most dating sites, so the girls get the pick of the bunch. Read the profiles that get most views, and pick up tips from them. You may think you’re “connecting”, but you can’t judge chemistry unless you meet up.Say which music you like, and your favourite place to see your friends.Specific information does more than make you sound interesting – it also gives potential dates something to write to you about.If you like someone, you have nothing to lose by letting them know.If they are interested, they’ll be happy that you called.

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